April 2, 2018 has come and gone. With it marked my one year anniversary of living here in Singapore. And this week also marked the one year of beginning to mentor some of the newest team members to Apple Retail in Singapore. Today, I opened a letter written to my future self and took a brief moment to reflect on what’s different about me in these 365+ days. I have officially survived a year living alone in Singapore. My relationship with time is still evolving and I still acknowledge that it truly waits for no one. This year had a plethora of moments and memories that will forever remain. I’ve scrolled through my pictures and pondered on some of the choices I’ve made, places I’ve been, people I have met, and emotions I’ve felt. These thoughts bring me back to one constant. I am living the life I have envisioned for myself that I didn’t think was possible. Don’t get me wrong, it is far from perfect. I wish I had easier access to great Mexican food or that I wasn’t constantly sweating when I leave my condo. Nevertheless, this life is mine and I wouldn’t change much of the things that I have experienced in the last year. I remember being in my holding pattern while waiting to move and researching places to live in Singapore. It hit me a month or so back, I live in the exact same condo that I looked at online. Kismet. I am still convinced that I am exactly where I should be. And, in honor of one of my favorite idols, Oprah, I keep thinking about a few other things I know for sure.
Getting Lost Is Part Of The Process
Several months after moving in to my condo, my neighbor and friend told me he actually takes the bus instead of the train to work. I remember the first day he offered to show me how and we rode into work together. I was so excited that, after work, I just hopped out to the same bus stop outside of work when I saw my number approach and hopped on. Nothing looked familiar, but I was seeing a side of the country I hadn’t explored. It wasn’t until I got to the end of the line and the MRT depot that the driver turned around and asked me where I was supposed to get off. He was helpful and explained I need to take the same number going in the opposite direction. It was late, but I went to the stop he told me to take and waited. To my surprise, the same driver opened the doors when the 190 bus finally approached about ten minutes later. After pleasantries and thanks, I found my way to a window seat. Surprisingly, after a while, things did look familiar and I pressed the button to exit in Chinatown. He was alert and kind enough to shout it wasn’t my stop but I told him the train was more my thing and I could find my way from there. And that’s what I did. I took the train from Chinatown all the way up to Bukit Panjang. I was relieved to see “Junction 10” as I stopped at the light waiting to crossing the intersection heading home. And the SAME exact bus I had eagerly exited crossed in front of me. I had to laugh. No matter which way I would have taken, the roads led back to home. Especially here in Singapore, I find that the city/country continues to get smaller and I’m navigating things a bit better every day. But, when I am turned around, it only ends up giving me one more piece to a map I am still piecing together. I am lucky that Singapore is small compared to so many places. One example of that is I have seen that same bus driver not once, but twice since getting lost. I love that he still remembers me (as most people do) and has honked at me and waved goodbye when I have exited at my stop. I’m so proud that I’m navigating like a local now. That leads me to….
People Are People
No matter the continent, one observation I have made is that the things that make the human experience human, are present in all of us. Smiles, laughter, love and so many more emotions transcend a person’s race, color, or creed. While, my sassy nature is one of the many things that makes me, me. I’m comforted knowing that it is still appreciated here in Singapore. There are a few quirky things about some Singaporeans such as a lack of awareness of others physical presence and laziness to travel to the other side of the country (Getting there in more than 30 minutes isn’t far) that I still have to shake my head over, but I have found more kindness and helpfulness than I probably expected. This is still true when I have traveled around the region as well. Speaking of people, that leads me to my third thought….
Families Are What We Make Them
Moving to Singapore has proven to me that surrounding yourself with people that care about you and support you is an essential part of living well. I worried a bit about moving and if my spirit of discernment would still guide me about who I could trust. So far, it’s continued to be spot on. My Apple family has become way larger than I could have anticipated. Coming from small to medium sized stores, I knew this new experience would mean I would need to adjust accordingly. Arden Fair, Walnut Creek, 4th Street, and now Orchard Road Apples have been great at making me feel connected to something greater than myself. While I haven’t lost sight of why I am here, it’s reassuring to hear from my new coworkers that I am family and know that they mean it. The care for my health when it mattered most only further washed away any doubts I may have still had. Further, my former coworkers and friends all over remind me of my bravery, awesomeness and how inspiring I am. I don’t take their words for granted. Anytime I start to doubt myself, I don’t have to look far to find a Sorority sister, classmate, coworker (past and present) or friend that sustains me and reminds me they aren’t a hater or naysayer, but a cheerleader and foundation for my next steps on this journey. The late night texts, messages on Facebook or WhatsApp are priceless and I truly do cherish hearing from so many of you! Because…..
There Is A Thin line Between Being Lonely And Alone
Twelve years ago, April 29, 2006, I was surrounded by 275 friends and family as I jumped the broom and joined the ranks of being a married woman. One of the highlights were Friday nights, where we would watch a movie and order pizza or walk down the street to the theatre. For those of you that know me well, you know movies are one of my things. Maybe it's the art of storytelling and artistry that reel me in (pun intended). Or it's the dedicated time I get to spend with others without having to say a word. The introvert in me does get exhausted by some conversations but I digress. I enjoy being at the premier of a new film and I’m pleased to have new friends to hang with for dinner and movie nights at home. It has satisfied my need of making sure those around me are taken care of. Almost a decade after divorce, I reflect on solitude differently. I’ve missed having people to cook and bake for, but it’s fun hosting people I have grown to love and consider family. I have also had the pleasure of hosting five people to come through Singapore in my year stay. All come delivering something amazing from home: HomePod, Trader Joes peanut butter filled pretzels, and grits.... The list goes on. I've enjoyed having them in my home and look forward to those of you planning on visiting while I live here! While we are on the topic of hosting and cooking this is a great segue to point number five….
Fried Chicken Is My Universal Love Language.
From The Dirty South to California, and even from Singapore to Taiwan I have found that good food is almost like a right of passage. It didn’t take me long after moving here to discover how much Singaporeans love eating. I would say the runner-up favorite pastime would be shopping. I understand it. Food speaks to a very comfortable part of interacting with others and can be one way to celebrate and have a great time. Whenever I’m planning on having a party, the menu is the first thing that comes to mind. I’ve been guilty of using it as a coping mechanism. I enjoy eating and have been surrounded by friends that feel the same way. Not to mention, I have been grateful for the sacrifices chickens have made to keep my belly full and taste buds happy. A few things I thought I wouldn't have here like fried chicken have pleasantly surprised me!
On April 2, a few of us gathered to BBQ and celebrate the amazing adventure that we have had this year. Chapter One in this Singapore book may have been written, but chapter two is under construction. To all of you that have prayed for me, sent a gift to me and thought about me, thank you again for keeping me on your radar and in your hearts. Your kindness has helped sustain me and to the Crazy Ones keeping me afloat here on this island, let’s keep the party going! There are several things I am working on: being kinder to myself, traveling when I can and being a better human. I’m enjoying playing the new role of Global Citizen and can’t wait for the rest of this journey to unfold. A lot can happen in a year. Joys, like the birth of new babies, the development of a new relationship and sorrows like the loss of a friend or family member. No matter the situation, try and be kind to others and appreciate them and their impact in your life and the world.
Until next time, love and light! (I promise more to come!)
My Global Talent Team -1.
Look at that crispy, tasty bird!!
Movie night!!
Junction 10. Home Sweet Home! ☺️ #NoFilter